Omgosh, my body is ready.
x - Ouiam.
You just got signed by 1D ♥
Daniela,
I already don’t know what to say as I start this letter. I’ve been sitting here for a while, trying to pick the perfect words to write, yet nothing will surface. Currently, it is 23:34 and you are sleeping on the sofa in the living room while Finding Nemo plays on the telly. We were out eating at Nando’s when you got the urge to watch a disney film, remember? I’m laughing to myself now, just thinking about our night. The two of us at dinner, dying over the extra hot Perri sauce, your face turning so red from both laughing and the spice. And when it started to rain on our walk home and us getting soaked to the bone. Finally making it up to our flat where we stripped off our wet clothing and wrapped ourselves up in big fluffy blankets to watch Finding Nemo on the big screen television in the living room. Your bare body touching mine as we sat on the floor wrapped in the same blanket, my eyes never leaving your face as you watched the movie. I’m smiling just remembering the past three hours together, yet tearing because I know it will be one of the last days we spend together.
Daniela, I’m writing this letter because I know that in a few days, I will be gone from this earth. I’m writing this letter as a goodbye to you, and to tell you how truly sorry I am for not telling you everything sooner. If you are reading this now, it means that I, like I predicted, have left you. If you are reading this now, on the window ledge of our bedroom window, your knees brought into your chest as you hold this piece of paper up in front of your face, it means that I am not here to tell you just how much I love you. I’m smiling now, knowing that you are smiling as you read this because I am able to know where you are in this very moment. I told you I know you better than you think.
Daniela, my beautiful, sweet, amazing, love of my life, I have not written this letter to trigger your tears and I have not written this letter to sadden your heart, but to tell you I love you more than anyone in this world. To tell you that I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell you about the brain tumor, but I just couldn’t bare the thought of you treating me like I was sick, like you felt obligated to stay by my side. I wanted your love for me to stay real to the very end, for your love to be pure and honest, without any other reason. I found out two weeks ago, seventeen days before today, as you are reading this now. They told me that it was no use to fight it, that the tumor wouldn’t respond to treatments, that the surgery was too dangerous to risk, that I would die sometime in the next four weeks. I didn’t take the news well as you can remember how I acted at Lou’s engagement dinner, remember? I told you I was just mad that my friend was moving on with his life, and I’m sorry for lying to you.
I’m sorry that I have left you alone in our apartment, but I want you to meet someone new, someone that will love you as much as I do, to share it with. I know you think I’m crazy that I want you to stay there, but I just don’t see it any other way, I need you to own everything that I owned, well because, you already have all along haven’t you? You stole my heart long ago, Daniela. I will never forget seeing your face for the first time when I knocked into you at the coffee shop, the latte burning your skin, my face burning from embarrassment and how you looked up at me in utter disgust. Who knew that look would turn into the most passionate face of love I have ever known. And as the tears now stream down my face, I am remembering the past two years we have spent together, every moment, both awake and asleep. Your love taught me how to live freely, how to love unconditionally. Your love showed me passion, your love showed me devotion. Everything you have done for me, I will never be able to express in words how much I thank you. Thank you for saving me, Daniela, when I thought I was beyond being saved.
The only way I can think of to end this letter is to tell you that I don’t want you to stay on this window ledge, crying over my parting. I want you to take this piece of paper and throw it on to the fire that I know is burning in the living room. I want you to know that even though I’m not there physically, I will always be in your heart, just as you will always be in mine. I want you to love someone, just as you loved me, just as I loved you. I will love you for always, Daniela, never forget that.
Forever in your heart,
Niall.
sexy face !
“It has been confirmed the boys will be doing an Asia tour. It includes Malaysia, Thailand, Philippines, Indonesia and more”
Had so much fun
